Pieces of the past and promises of a future

The wait is on! I’m now 39 weeks and 3 days, and in honest truth, I’m a little impatient and just can’t wait to meet bubs. I’m trying to keep relaxed and to fit into my own skin – I’ve heard that stress can actually delay labour, so I’ve got to keep worry to a minimum.

Over the last few months, there were times where I felt rather disconnected from bubs and just couldn’t get a clear picture of what to expect from him and her. But I think that we’ve grown closer in the process and I think I know his or her personality quite a lot better now.

Today I was looking through some of the things I wrote when I was in my teen years, and it surprised me how dark a lot of the themes were. I was actually looking for a piece of my writing to dedicate to baby Zilm, but a lot of these themes are unsuitable… I think that I was always quite an emotional person, and perhaps I dwelt on certain dramatic things a lot more than I should have.

Being into guitar and piano, I wrote songs as well and it was something I prided myself in, even though I’m not exactly a great singer. I remembered that I wrote a lullaby and despite the deeper message within the song, I just wanted to share it. One day, perhaps I’ll record it on Youtube or something. But for now, here it is:

So many blank pages
and the ink’s run dry
our souls walk through the ages
never knowing the reason why

And the water’s getting deeper
as our hearts intertwine
I’ll forever be your keeper
as you’ll always be mine

Go to sleep my little baby
Rest your head upon my cheek
We’ll meet some other day, maybe
But for now just go to sleep

My life is like a river
as it flows to the sea
Time will paint us silver
it only waits for you and me

Go to sleep my little baby
Rest your head upon my cheek
We’ll meet some other day, maybe
But for now just go to sleep

And though it may seem
like I’m gone
In you my soul lives on
Darling go to sleep
and things will be alright
You’ll see me when you close, close your eyes

(piano interlude)

Go to sleep my little baby
Rest your head upon my cheek
We’ll meet some other day, maybe
But for now just go to sleep
But for now just go to sleep
But for now just go to sleep…

I think that I did go through a few harrowing experiences in my teen years, many I have to admit were self-inflicted. Writing was indeed my channel and my escape, and I’m glad that in many cases, the sun comes out to shine after a storm.

This brings me to think about the rainbow that Skittles and I saw on our walk today – it was almost a triple rainbow, and was really magnificent against the dark sky. 

Image

So, baby Zilm, I do look forward to meeting you. I can’t promise that you won’t have to walk a rocky, crooked path but I do promise that I will be with you every step of the way and will be that rainbow in your stormy sky, as you will be in mine.

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