Tragedies

I was going to put up a Christmas post but in the light of some recent events across the world, I felt that it was almost inappropriate to be celebrating amidst all the grieving.

I was reading an article about The Biggest Tragedies in 2014 and it made me remember how fragile life is; how mortal we are and how suddenly things can take a turn for the worse. Some of these tragedies particularly resonate with me being a Malaysian – I’ve flown with Malaysian Airlines and Air Asia all my life (and my parents still use those airlines on a regular basis) so it does feel a bit surreal at times. In fact, my parents were on an Air Asia flight less than 24 hours before this most recent crash. And I even knew a person on the MH17 flight; an acquaintance from high school and a loving person who is dearly missed by her family.

But really, it’s not all about me. It’s about all those lives lost. It’s about all those people who won’t be able to welcome in the new year with their beloved family members. It’s about ideals torn apart, hearts brokens and promises that weren’t able to be kept. And I think, what if it was me – how would I feel? What would I do?

I’m not sure if you know, but I LOVE Avril Lavigne’s music – I grew up with her music blaring in my rooms and I know the words to most if not all of her songs. I was SO happy to get her Goodbye Lullaby album after my car ate up her CD (radio died on me and ruined my old one) and I feel it’s her best album, or at least one where her emotions really do resonate with mine. One of my favourite songs on this album is “Everybody Hurts” and I’ve been playing it over and over again (much to my hubby’s dismay). Then I remembered that long ago, back in the day when I still had my green guitar, I actually sang a cover version of this song – and here it is:

Okay, it’s not the best video but really, it’s the lyrics that really touch deeply and that’s something I want to share and dedicate to the people in these tragedies.

Don’t know, don’t know if I can do this on my own
Why do you have to leave me?
It seems I’m losing something deep inside of me
Hold on, on to me

Now I see, now I see

Everybody hurts some days
It’s okay to be afraid
Everybody hurts, everybody screams
Everybody feels this way
And it’s okay, it’s okay

It feels like nothing really matters anymore
When you’re gone, I can’t breathe
And I know you never meant to make me feel this way
This can’t be happening

Now I see, now I see

Everybody hurts some days
It’s okay to be afraid
Everybody hurts, everybody screams
Everybody feels this way
And it’s okay, it’s okay

So many questions, so much on my mind
So many answers I can’t find
Wish I could turn back the time
I wonder why

Everybody hurts some days
Everybody hurts some days

Everybody hurts some days
It’s okay to be afraid
Everybody hurts, everybody screams
Everybody feels this way
And it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay

Everybody hurts some days
It’s okay to be afraid
Everybody hurts some days
Yeah, we all feel pain

Everybody feels this way
And it’ll be okay
Can’t somebody take me away to a better place
Everybody feels this way, it’s okay

It’s okay, it’s okay
It’s okay, it’s okay

I know I can’t tell people that it’s okay because it doesn’t feel okay at the moment, and perhaps there’ll be a void that can never be filled. But to all of you out there who are hurting and grieving, be it from a natural disaster, accident or even just personal tragedy in your own life, I pray that you will be able to see the silver lining behind the cloud.

I pray that you will be able to one day lift your head up and smile despite the tragedy that has touched your life – and that you will be okay.

Before the year is up…

Talk about a long hiatus. Yes, sorry, I know I have been AWOL but the last few months have been so jam packed that I thought it best to take a break and do justice to certain areas in my life. And now, most of the things have settled down so I’m thinking of getting back into writing!!!

As of yesterday, my little boy is already 16 months old! Can you believe it? I have a fully-fledged toddler (and a hyper one at that)!!!

So, I thought I’d do a little monthly update to show how far we’ve come so far.

Little Mr here has 14 teeth and counting!

Height: 81cm

Weight: Almost 10kg, yippie!

Eating:
We initially struggled with his eating – he used to be very finnicky and naughty, throwing most of his meal on the floor. His weight plateaued for a while but since he started walking, things have started picking up and he is a pro right now! You should have seen him wolf down his pizza tonight! He also eats a lot of fruit, which I am quite happy about – and he loves a good fruit smoothie which we have plenty of since it’s summertime.

Favourites: Blueberries, Watermelon, Grapes, Pear, Cheese, Spring Rolls, Chicken, Peas, Corn on Cob, Any sort of Rice, Pasta, Yoghurt.

Sleep: Yes, sleep is a little patchy, and we struggles especially when he first learned to walk. He just LOVES to be awake to do things but he needs to rest for his own good. He is moving to his own room soon (we have finally moved furniture around so his cot can fit in the room) so things should improve from there, I hope! But he still looks adorable when he sleeps, doesn’t he?

Mobility:
Jacob started walking just shy of 15 months. He had been standing for a while and trying to do stepping movements, but never really got past two steps. Then one day, at church, I think something must have just clicked. He just got up and walked right across the room, and hasn’t looked back since.

In the last few weeks, he’s really picked up speed and is relatively difficult to manage. He runs away from me in the shopping mall and climbs things like chairs, tables, bookcases, etc. No drawers or doors are safe from him so we are slowly child-locking everything. He is relatively clever at working out how things works so he opens tubes and bottles etc. He is loveable but so darn high maintenance at times!

Words words words:
This little boy is talkative!!! I think his first word was “car” and he said “dada” around the same time. Some of his early words were mama, nana (banana), wawa (flower), star, nanny (his grandmother) and dua (dog). He also has some interesting words, like “murr” for bird, “aah” for a drink and “mannum/my-num” for dummy. And now he talks about books and balls and shoes and the moon. We are SOOO proud of him but we get pretty tired hearing the same words all day long.

Favourite pastimes:
– Dancing/singing to songs and rhymes we know. He’s great at “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” (he sings the ‘star’ bit and does some actions) and also joins in with “Incy Wincy Spider”, “Pat a Cake”, “Head Shoulders Knees and Toes” (he only gets as far as head as it’s a bit fast).
– Drawing – I think he’s going to be a budding artist. He goes through our stationery drawers to find pens and markers to use. And despite my giving him scrap paper to draw on, he always looks for important documents to draw on (failing which, he will draw on the wall or tiles).
– Playing with other kids especially his cousins. He recognises them and points them out in pictures – they usually have an awesome time playing together and it’s great that they’re all relatively close in age.

We took some awesome family photos the other day!
– Playing with water and swimming. He loves ANYTHING to do with water. When we’re outside, he goes straight to the dog bowl and puts his hands in it. Hence why I’m buying him a sand & water table for Christmas (shhh don’t tell him!)
– Playing with Skittles. He LOVES dogs and just goes right up to them and plays with them. Skittles has knocked him over a few times but I think they’re both getting more used to each other. My babies are so cute!!!

Only a few more sleeps to Christmas, and I know the time is going to fly by. I am praying that Jacob doesn’t destroy more ornaments on our Christmas tree – he’s already broken a few baubles and often redecorates when I’m not looking.

Just as a fond memory of mine, here’s Jacob being baby Jesus in last year’s nativity at Lobethal. How time flies! Merry Christmas everyone, and may you enjoy this time with friends and family!

His first artwork from childcare

He doesn’t look too happy to see Santa. Oh well!